to prove i’m still alive…

It seems like years since I’ve been here. And truthfully, I even feel a few years older. This is a tough season of life for me. I’m the curious sort that has a love/hate relationship with change. And unfortunately, the kind of changes that I’m not so fond of have popped up a lot recently.

Most notably…September 16th my dad lost {or won, depending on your perspective} his struggle with cancer, and finally met his Savior. The last few days before his death were exhausting emotionally, mentally and physically. The weeks since his death have been hard too.

But not in the ways I expected.

It’s hard because…

…no one grieves the same way, yet we all have expectations of what grief should look like. I don’t grieve like my mom or brothers, or even my husband. And sometimes my way of grieving conflicts with their way of grieving. And, instead of getting offended or lashing out, I have to remind myself that we are all going through this together. And that lots of grace is required as we navigate this unfamiliar territory.

It’s hard because…

…life goes on whether I’m ready or not. There is a family to take care of, a house that needs cleaning, home schooling to be done, etc. There is no “pause” button to push until I’m ready to face the daily grind of life again. Moving on is part of the process, even when I’d like the luxury of making time stand still for a bit longer.

Along with that major life change, comes the start of a new school year. As much as I was looking forward to starting 1st grade with Sam, it was another transition to acclimate to. I’m happy to report that it’s going well…even though it’s not the well-oiled machine that it could be. We are working out the kinks one by one and I look forward to the next couple of weeks when we get into our “school groove.”

Ava turned two this month and is well on her way to perfecting her “terrible” status. Not really…but she is quite the drama queen and keeps us cringing or grinning, depending on her antics! She has a will of steel titanium and really dislikes to be told “no.” Her favorite response is to look at us with an expression that says, “Your rules don’t apply to me, I’m too cute!” Oy…

Rachel is 7 mos. old and has matured from newborn to baby {a change that any parent can appreciate} and she is now demanding my full attention. She loves to play peek-a-boo, squeals at her brother’s antics and loves to be surrounded by family. She has thighs that rival the Michelin Man’s and eats non-stop {or so it seems!}.  Her smile lights up the room and there is nothing, I mean nothing, that brings a grin to my face quicker than listening to her belly laughs.

So there’s the update of my life in a nutshell.

Just wanted to prove to you that I’m still alive. ;0)

Tags: babies, grieving, homeschool, photos, terrible twos

a few new canvases

Hello, friends! Long time, no see.

Life snuck up on me and it’s been waaay too long since I’ve been here. One of the things that has kept me busy is working on canvases. Here are a few of my new creations.

Tags: canvas art, etsy, handmade, scripture art, wall art

my hope is in the Lord

The chorus of this song is really speaking to me today. I’m soaking up this truth, and so thankful that my God is always faithful to me.

picture play

I took this photo of Rachel today and decided to play around with it a little.

Which

one

do

you

like best?

 

Tags: baby pictures, close-up

day 16

Passage: Joshua 1:1-14:15

We can do amazing things when God is with us. 

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

{Joshua 1:9}

If ever there was a person that had reason to be afraid, it was Joshua. He had inherited the daunting task of leading the grumbling, rebellious, Israelites into the Promised Land. As if that weren’t enough, he was also responsible to clear the land of nations that were already settled there…nations much bigger and stronger than Israel.

So the Lord spoke.

“Don’t be afraid, be strong and courageous.”

“I will go with you. I won’t abandon you.”

Like Joshua, I have charge of a {sometimes} grumbling and rebellious little clan. Daily, I am in a battle to protect them from the enemy of their souls and bring them one step closer to the “promised land” of salvation. And, apart from the knowledge that the Lord is with me, my heart would be faint and my resolve weak. Who am I kidding, even knowing that the Lord is with me I still get scared and overwhelmed! I feel Joshua’s pain when rebellion rears its ugly head in my 5 yr old, or my {almost} 2 yr old decides to engage in a battle of the wills.

But as the Lord reminded Joshua time and time again, he reminds me.

“Don’t be afraid, be strong and courageous.”

“I will go with you. I won’t abandon you.”

And the stength comes.

And the fear subsides.

And God moves in ways that truly amaze me.

day 9/10

“If you obey My laws and regulations, you will find life through them. I am the Lord.” {Leviticus 18:5}

What comes to mind when you think of LIFE?

I think of vibrant green leaves,

new babies crying that new baby cry,

laughter and activity,

deep, fresh breaths of air.

Good things.

Then why, oh, why do I hesitate to obey the commands of God??

He says that His laws bring life. And I know it to be true. But I have a forgetful heart. And when the road is long and the night is dark I want what’s easy.

So I settle for the imitation life of the world, instead of the real life from the Word.

It’s like eating a “burger” from McDonald’s instead of a nice juicy hamburger fresh off the grill. There really is no comparison, but the fast food is quick and easy and keeps me going for the moment. Nevermind that the junk it’s made of outweighs the nourishment that I receive.

But I’m tired of eating junk. I want real food. I want to nourish my soul with the Life from heaven.

“Then Jesus explained: “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.” {John 4:34}

day 8…cheating

Passage: Leviticus 1:1-14:32

 Well, I’m not really cheating. I just think that Amy over at Mom’s Toolbox said it better than I could. So here’s the link to her insight for this passage:

Even unintentional sin is sin.

i did it

I sold my first canvas!

And I am selling more over at Etsy. Come check out my site!

day 6/7

Passage: Ex. 15:19-28:43/29:1-40:38

If God doesn’t go with me, I’d better not move.

“Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”

Moses knew the secret to Israel’s success was the presence and guidance of God. They were totally and completely lost {literally} without Him. But more than that, Moses knew that God was the One that set them apart from every other nation. God was their King, their Counselor, their Defender and their Provider. If God did not go with them, they might as well lay down and die.

I wish I was as smart as Moses.

Too many times to count, I find myself saying to God, “It’s okay, I’ve got this under control. You just stay here while I take care of some business. I’ll be right back!”

And disaster strikes,

and my strength is not enough,

and I humbly return to admit defeat.

Because without the presence of God in my life,

I am one. big. failure.

But God, in His infinite mercy and compassion, looks at me and says, “I love you, I know you and I want to go with you on this journey. I can give you everything that you need, if you’ll trust Me to lead you.

Lord, please forgive me for being too proud at times to admit that I need Your presence in my life. Help me to see my need for You in everything I do. You are my Life, and living doesn’t work if You aren’t with me. Amen.

day 5

Passage: Exodus 1:1-15:18 

My sin {and the consequences of it} affect the lives of others.

“All the firstborn sons will die in every family in Egypt, from the oldest son of Pharaoh, who sits on his throne, to the oldest son of his lowliest servant girl who grinds the flour. Even the firstborn of all the livestock will die.” {Exodus 11:5}

Because of the sin of one man, every family in Egypt lost their firstborn son.

Because

of

sin.

Now, my sins may not have that extreme of an effect on anyone. But they do impact others. Often in ways that I’m not even aware of. How far-reaching are the effects of my selfishness, laziness, envy and gossip?  What about the sins that I commit by not sharing that encouraging word I’m supposed to give, or neglecting to pray for someone who the Lord lays on my heart. I can get so wrapped up in myself that I forget that my words and actions impact the lives of others as well.

So my prayer today is this…

Father, please make me aware of the impact that my sin has on others. May it cause me to be more mindful of my words and actions, always striving to obey You in all things…for the good of myself and those around me. Amen