a little sad

13 Aug
Being pregnant again has landed me in new territory…
the “I have kids close together in age” group of moms.

I mean, Sam was 4 when Ava was born. We had 4 uniterrupted years to experience all things “Sam.”
 All the snuggles and cuddles and rocking to sleep,
all the book reading and bath times,
all the outside discoveries on our walks…
my focus was concentrated solely on him.

By the time I got pregnant with Ava, I was ready to experience the whole cycle all over again.
I was looking forward to the extended nursing,
the baby cuddles,
and watching her experience her world of firsts.

But now, in this new territory, I’m feeling a little jilted for her.
By the time Ava is 18 months the new babe will be here.
And there will be very little exclusive “Ava time.” 
Already, due to pregnancy hormones, nursing her has almost come to an end.
It makes me sad.
I am cherishing every quiet moment I have with her,
 knowing that all too soon my attention will be divided.

I used to wonder why my sister-in-law (who has 6 munchkins ages 7 and under) tended to baby her little ones for so long.
Now I know.
I kind of feel like I need to make it up to Ava for taking away my undivided attention so soon.

Has anyone else felt like this?

I mean, it’s not that I wish I wasn’t pregnant.
I am excited for this new life and looking forward to adding a new little one to our family.
I have just been caught off guard by the melancholy feelings that have surfaced in this area.

I guess I should just blame it on the hormones!
What do you think?

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2 Responses to “a little sad”

  1. Tessa August 13, 2010 at 2:09 pm #

    My #1 and #2 are 24 months apart. And while I was SO excited that #2 was a girl (#1 is a boy) I went through what I now refer to as a "stage of mourning". I, like you, realized that my time with my little buddy would soon include a sibling and I mourned for Keaton. I was so sad for him and how his world would be changing. Thankfully our adjustment went well as have all the others. And of course you know that everything will be great when #3 arrives, however you are entitled to feel sad…just not permanently 😉

  2. Lisa August 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm #

    Thanks,Tessa. I was hoping that I wasn't the only one that felt this way!

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