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to prove i’m still alive…

20 Oct

It seems like years since I’ve been here. And truthfully, I even feel a few years older. This is a tough season of life for me. I’m the curious sort that has a love/hate relationship with change. And unfortunately, the kind of changes that I’m not so fond of have popped up a lot recently.

Most notably…September 16th my dad lost {or won, depending on your perspective} his struggle with cancer, and finally met his Savior. The last few days before his death were exhausting emotionally, mentally and physically. The weeks since his death have been hard too.

But not in the ways I expected.

It’s hard because…

…no one grieves the same way, yet we all have expectations of what grief should look like. I don’t grieve like my mom or brothers, or even my husband. And sometimes my way of grieving conflicts with their way of grieving. And, instead of getting offended or lashing out, I have to remind myself that we are all going through this together. And that lots of grace is required as we navigate this unfamiliar territory.

It’s hard because…

…life goes on whether I’m ready or not. There is a family to take care of, a house that needs cleaning, home schooling to be done, etc. There is no “pause” button to push until I’m ready to face the daily grind of life again. Moving on is part of the process, even when I’d like the luxury of making time stand still for a bit longer.

Along with that major life change, comes the start of a new school year. As much as I was looking forward to starting 1st grade with Sam, it was another transition to acclimate to. I’m happy to report that it’s going well…even though it’s not the well-oiled machine that it could be. We are working out the kinks one by one and I look forward to the next couple of weeks when we get into our “school groove.”

Ava turned two this month and is well on her way to perfecting her “terrible” status. Not really…but she is quite the drama queen and keeps us cringing or grinning, depending on her antics! She has a will of steel titanium and really dislikes to be told “no.” Her favorite response is to look at us with an expression that says, “Your rules don’t apply to me, I’m too cute!” Oy…

Rachel is 7 mos. old and has matured from newborn to baby {a change that any parent can appreciate} and she is now demanding my full attention. She loves to play peek-a-boo, squeals at her brother’s antics and loves to be surrounded by family. She has thighs that rival the Michelin Man’s and eats non-stop {or so it seems!}.  Her smile lights up the room and there is nothing, I mean nothing, that brings a grin to my face quicker than listening to her belly laughs.

So there’s the update of my life in a nutshell.

Just wanted to prove to you that I’m still alive. ;0)


picture play

22 Aug

I took this photo of Rachel today and decided to play around with it a little.





like best?


3 months

3 Jul

snapshots of life

21 May

Here are a few snapshots of my life at the moment.

The Stare.

Defenders of the Soap

My precious babe.

Sam on the boogie board.

A single…

and double nose dig.

in which i fall off the face of the earth

27 Apr

Please excuse my absence.

I’ve been kinda occupied with this little face,

and enjoying early morning family time,

 and reveling in the fact that Sam adores his new baby sister. 

Rachel is 5 weeks old and has already made her mark on our home. Besides making sleep a precious commodity, she has captivated her brother and sister. Sam and Ava both love to hold her, and Ava is fascinated with her eyes (eek!), nose, fingers and toes. Sam, for all the stink he made about NOT wanting another sister, is totally smitten with Rachel. He tells me each day how much he loooves his new sister!

As for me and Marko, we are enjoying having an itty bitty baby to snuggle again. There’s just nothing like a newborn sleeping on your chest!

Life with another babe in the mix is not as challenging as I thought it would be. I was expecting total chaos with a 5 year old, a 17 mo. old and a newborn. But thankfully, the grace of God has been with me to manage it all without (mostly) freaking out. I am reminded again how powerful prayer (mine and others’) is in the time of need. Speaking of prayers…we were also very happy to learn that Rachel does not have CF. We weren’t expecting to get her results back so fast, but we are so glad that we did!

Well, excuse me while I get back to my babe. We’ve got more snuggling to do.


25 Mar

Rachel Addison

born March 18th, 2011

7.8 lbs / 19.6 in.

Welcome to our world little one!