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to prove i’m still alive…

20 Oct

It seems like years since I’ve been here. And truthfully, I even feel a few years older. This is a tough season of life for me. I’m the curious sort that has a love/hate relationship with change. And unfortunately, the kind of changes that I’m not so fond of have popped up a lot recently.

Most notably…September 16th my dad lost {or won, depending on your perspective} his struggle with cancer, and finally met his Savior. The last few days before his death were exhausting emotionally, mentally and physically. The weeks since his death have been hard too.

But not in the ways I expected.

It’s hard because…

…no one grieves the same way, yet we all have expectations of what grief should look like. I don’t grieve like my mom or brothers, or even my husband. And sometimes my way of grieving conflicts with their way of grieving. And, instead of getting offended or lashing out, I have to remind myself that we are all going through this together. And that lots of grace is required as we navigate this unfamiliar territory.

It’s hard because…

…life goes on whether I’m ready or not. There is a family to take care of, a house that needs cleaning, home schooling to be done, etc. There is no “pause” button to push until I’m ready to face the daily grind of life again. Moving on is part of the process, even when I’d like the luxury of making time stand still for a bit longer.

Along with that major life change, comes the start of a new school year. As much as I was looking forward to starting 1st grade with Sam, it was another transition to acclimate to. I’m happy to report that it’s going well…even though it’s not the well-oiled machine that it could be. We are working out the kinks one by one and I look forward to the next couple of weeks when we get into our “school groove.”

Ava turned two this month and is well on her way to perfecting her “terrible” status. Not really…but she is quite the drama queen and keeps us cringing or grinning, depending on her antics! She has a will of steel titanium and really dislikes to be told “no.” Her favorite response is to look at us with an expression that says, “Your rules don’t apply to me, I’m too cute!” Oy…

Rachel is 7 mos. old and has matured from newborn to baby {a change that any parent can appreciate} and she is now demanding my full attention. She loves to play peek-a-boo, squeals at her brother’s antics and loves to be surrounded by family. She has thighs that rival the Michelin Man’s and eats non-stop {or so it seems!}.  Her smile lights up the room and there is nothing, I mean nothing, that brings a grin to my face quicker than listening to her belly laughs.

So there’s the update of my life in a nutshell.

Just wanted to prove to you that I’m still alive. ;0)

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a place to call his own

12 Jul

Sam has a habit of choosing the most unusual places to read. When he was a toddler, we found him buried {E.T. style} in the middle of his stuffed animals, looking at books. If there is a nook or cranny to be found, Sam has discovered it and uses it as his own personal book retreat. Today I found him here.

He was singing to himself and reading his latest library book. And I couldn’t help but smile because in the chaos of our crazy little house, he had found a place to call his own.

snapshots of life

21 May

Here are a few snapshots of my life at the moment.

The Stare.

Defenders of the Soap

My precious babe.

Sam on the boogie board.

A single…

and double nose dig.

wordless wednesday

2 Feb

 

shocked

27 Oct
Well, the results are in and it’s a
GIRL!
We are all shocked and surprised.
Sam is a little sad.
Poor guy, I know how he feels.
I wanted a sister more than anything, and got a brother…twice.
But time will ease the disappointment.
And by the time the baby is here, he will be excited to see her.
Otherwise, she is healthy and right on target according to the ultrasound.
She is very wiggly and even sucked her thumb for a second (just like her brother).
Whether or not she has CF, still remains a mystery.
We have opted not to do an amniocentesis (same as with Ava).
But the ultrasound markers were clear, which is a good sign.
Thank You, God, for another little life!

in other news

17 Oct
Alternately titled: Random thoughts that have nothing to do with each other.
Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks pregnant.
Now that I am fully into my 2nd trimester, my energy has returned and my stomach has settled.
My tummy is starting to pop out a bit and the maternity clothes have come out of hiding.
Can I just tell you how much I love wearing maternity clothes…cute ones, anyway?
I love them.
I love that I can have a tummy and people look at me with a twinkle in their eye,
instead of giving me the stink eye because they think I’ve had one too many twinkies.
Just kidding. I don’t really normally get the stink eye.
Only if I’m walking passed a gym eating twinkies.
Sam has finally decided that he is okay with the boy name that we’ve most likely chosen.
Whew.
Now he wants to name the baby Charlotte Leah, if it’s a girl.
Not our first choice, but it sure beats Gator!
Anyways, my 20 week ultrasound is coming up soon and all mysteries will be revealed.
Speaking of Sam, his mouth is healing well.
He had his stitches removed yesterday, and the scabs have all fallen off.
Unless I look into his mouth, I can hardly tell that he was a bloody mess one week ago.
His teeth have not shifted back into place yet, and I’m not sure that they will.
I’m just happy that they are all baby teeth, that will eventually come out anyways.
Ava is taking her first steps, and will soon be on her way to full-on walking.
She has also acquired several new words and has become quite a chatterbox.
She is fascinated with babies (baby dolls, specifically)
and anything with a face-that is smaller than her-is a “baby.”
The S.W. Florida version of fall is finally here, which means pumpkin patches and fall festivals. 
It also means weather that is NOT scorching hot! 
I’m thrilled that our highs are in the 80’s and the lows are in the 60’s.
Outdoors, here we come!

the hiatus is over

13 Oct
Honestly!
What a slacker I’ve been. 
I can’t believe that it’s been almost a month since my last “real” post.
Much has happened in the past several weeks.
There have been births,
and birthdays,
a trip to Sea World,
and most recently, our first kid ER visit.
(Gorey picture ahead. Consider yourself warned.)
Sam was swinging on a baby swing on the neighbor’s patio (read: brick floor) 
Sunday afternoon, and decided to jump off of it.
The landing was less than perfect and the bricks caught his fall. Heh.
Marko came running into the house with him and
blood
was
EVERYWHERE.
Sam was bleeding so much that I couldn’t even see inside his mouth.
So, off to the ER Marko and Sam rushed.
Once there, they discovered that Sam had knocked out one of his bottom teeth
(not adult, thank the Lord!)
and needed about 6 stitches on his lower lip.
A trip to the dentist the next day revealed that there were no fractures or permanent damage to the bones in his mouth/jaw.
WHEW!
Well, I guess all’s well that ends well.
Sam has learned his lesson, and will now be traveling the preschool circuit extolling the virtues of swing safety.

you know you’re a CF mom if…

13 Sep

…your entire meal is dominated by the sentence, “Please keep eating!”

…conversations about the frequency, density and color of poop are a normal part of life.
…your entire day is scheduled around breathing treatments.
…you secretly rejoice when your offspring asks for additional food.
…you feel weird giving your non-CF child food without enzymes.
…the words “negative culture” are music to your ears.
… you never thought you’d have such a dislike for the words “crackles” and “wheezing.”

…you feel especially blessed that the Lord has entrusted this precious life into your hands.

houston, we have a problem

23 Aug
Ok, I’m taking a poll here.
How many of you have named your offspring a name that their siblings were opposed to?
Anyone?
We are having that little dilemma here.
A couple of weeks ago we were talking to Sam about his new brother/sister and threw out our favorite boy name.
He was beside himself!
Thisclose to tears, he proclaimed that he wanted to name the baby…
Gator.
And he was totally serious.
He was devestated that we were thinking of naming the baby anything else.
Well, now that it has been firmly established that the baby (should it be a boy)
 will not be named Gator, he is still completely opposed to our chosen name.
Hmm…what to do?

home again, home again, jiggety-jig

20 Aug
Last night we (and our piggies) arrived safely home.
It is so nice to be back in our own beds,
eating our own food,
walking barefoot on our own floors,
and relaxing on our own couches.
Ahhhhh!
Sam is only relieved that the needle part is over.
Because when he wasn’t doing this…
He was playing games
and doing crafts
and tormenting the hospital staff with fake rubber snakes.

And he was doing this…
hanging out on the window ledge (we were on the 8th floor)
and watching all the vehicles and people below.
Or, watching the helicopters land on the helipad of the hospital across the street.
He was fascinated with both!
And this..
opening presents (Tuesday was his birthday) from us and the hospital staff.
We already had a party for him before he was admitted to the hospital, so we just had a few small gifts that we brought to the hospital for him to open.
But the hospital!
Everytime someone new arrived, they came bearing gifts. 
He received a book
and a puzzle
and a couple of stuffed animals
and a craft paint kit
and  a $50 gift card to Toys R Us!
And, they gave us a free birthday cake.
And, all the nurses came in and sang “Happy Birthday” to him.
I think he’s going to want to have his birthday at the hospital every year now!